#48: Turrican II: The Final Fight (Rainbow Arts, Amiga, 1991)

And just who is this Turrican fellow, anyway? According to the original game’s manual, he is “the only man on Earth whose courage has not yet deserted him”, out to defeat “the three-headed Morgul […] cause of all the fears and nightmares of mankind”. According to the deeply embarrassing cutscene that plays on the title screen of Turrican II, meanwhile, he is purple-haired space marine Bren McGuire, sole survivor of the United Planets ship the Avalon 1, out for revenge against the evil half-man, half-robot known as “THE MACHINE” responsible for the slaughter of the rest of the crew. Now, I’m not suggesting that the former passage is some unheralded work of literary genius, but… well, some things are better left unsaid, y’know?